I love him. I love him not. My affair with John Mayer
“It started out GREAT! He was so perfect and sweet to me! And then I don’t know what happened. He became disconnected and a total jerk to me after a while. Then, he started seeing other people and started talking about when he banged Jessica Simpson, she was like sexual napalm! And then I cried and cried…because I still love him and he keeps toying with my HEAD!”
Familiar story, huh? No stranger to heartbreak, this is how I feel about John Mayer. He started out so GOOD! Pure, untouched, so bravely talented and then what happened? And why am I still buying his CD’s and going to his shows? I know. Because I keep hoping he’s the same old sweet John Mayer that would sing my heart better than I could…way before he became suchacolossaljerk (please start using this *word in Scrabble).
After discovering his music when he was a regular playing at lil’ ol’ Eddie’s Attic in Atlanta, I was instantly obsessed (I know, shocking) and after a while, realized he was playing me like a fool just like he played the beautiful little starlets in Hollywood. Check out our love timeline:
- Inside Wants Out (1999 – self-released EP). OMG! I know it. He’s the ONE!
- Room for Squares (2001). Wow! Now everyone is going to know how AMAZING he is!
- Heavier Things (2003). I’m still under his spell. Swoooooon!
- Continuum (2006). Okay, a little more mature – but still sorta cool
- Battle Studies (2009). Formulaic ho-hum with a heavy swig of a-hole!
I’ve hinted about my tumultous love affair with John Mayer here and here. Unless you’ve been under a rock, John Mayer has turned into a gigantic tweeting self-involved, oh-so-clever douche in the media and a total man-whore with Hollywood’s hottest.
Here’s where this gets annoying. He can write a damn good song and masterfully rips on the guitar with as much skill as Bill Gates knows how to turn a buck. As much as his Stupid Mouth gets him into trouble like the recent Playboy Interview debacle, I still buy his new CD’s and still have tickets to see his show tonight at Atlanta’s Philips Arena. Not only that, my nose will be dripping with blood as my seats are totally up in the rafters. He still treats me like garbage but I still keep coming back for more-
When will a girl ever learn…
He better be good tonight. I’m doing my own Battle Studies.