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How to Cash In by Writing Killer Songs : RadioPotato

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Thursday, August 24th, 2017

How to Cash In by Writing Killer Songs

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Women’s Vulnerabilities = CA$H MONEY$$$ls2I have a theory on how to become a millionaire. My theory is that any song that is written and performed in a certain manner, will be an instant hit and ensure you millions!  For instance, I’ve noticed that if you write a song that talks about how a guy understands a girl and accepts her exactly as she is – the artist automatically becomes a chick-magnet and the song blazes up the charts. Not to mention, when said band/artist is in concert, it is generously populated with women. In between the throngs of estrogen in the audience, there are sprinkles of men that the ladies have most definitely dragged to the concert. I am guilty of this, by the way.

Key ingredients:

  • Man understands women’s psychoses

  • Suggest that the man will love woman unconditionally, no matter how f’ed up her childhood was

  • Mention that even though she’s broken, she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen

  • Always mention something about brushing her hair away from her eyes when she cries

Cases in point: “Fix You” by Coldplay, “Look After You” by the Fray, “Lullaby” by Shawn Mullins, and really anything by John Mayer. Keep in mind, all of those dudes are FUGLY!

But I bet those ugly and “smart” songwriters can definitely score with the ladies way easier than any of their aesthetically-pleasing counterparts.

My thought is that I need to get into the song writing business and capitalize off of this. If anyone knows of any hook-ups for publishing, let me know. I’m going to be RICH!

About the author

Allison Hare wrote 138 articles on this blog.

A modern-day dame with a bionic ear for discovering emerging artists and a penchant for live shows. Admitted radio junkie

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Comments

2 Responses to “How to Cash In by Writing Killer Songs”
  1. ugo capeto says:

    i only do instrumentals. that can’t be good either.

  2. Allison Rizk says:

    HAHAHA! Instrumentals have a place, too. You could be a killer candidate to score music for movies and TV. Or the next Kenny G?

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