How to Cash In by Writing Killer Songs
Women’s Vulnerabilities = CA$H MONEY$$$I have a theory on how to become a millionaire. My theory is that any song that is written and performed in a certain manner, will be an instant hit and ensure you millions! For instance, I’ve noticed that if you write a song that talks about how a guy understands a girl and accepts her exactly as she is – the artist automatically becomes a chick-magnet and the song blazes up the charts. Not to mention, when said band/artist is in concert, it is generously populated with women. In between the throngs of estrogen in the audience, there are sprinkles of men that the ladies have most definitely dragged to the concert. I am guilty of this, by the way.
Man understands women’s psychoses
Suggest that the man will love woman unconditionally, no matter how f’ed up her childhood was
Mention that even though she’s broken, she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen
Always mention something about brushing her hair away from her eyes when she cries
Cases in point: “Fix You” by Coldplay, “Look After You” by the Fray, “Lullaby” by Shawn Mullins, and really anything by John Mayer. Keep in mind, all of those dudes are FUGLY!
But I bet those ugly and “smart” songwriters can definitely score with the ladies way easier than any of their aesthetically-pleasing counterparts.
My thought is that I need to get into the song writing business and capitalize off of this. If anyone knows of any hook-ups for publishing, let me know. I’m going to be RICH!