Who Gets The Most Ass in a Band?
It’s no secret that rock stars get laid. Some of the fugliest dudes can get some serious hot chicks…and I promise you, it’s not because of their milk-and-cookies wholesome personality (see Hot Chicks with Douchebags – they might not be rock stars but it’s pretty damn funny). It usually has something to do with a microphone, tight pants, and a guitar.
A few years back on a random Tuesday night, my friend Tim Rhodes and I were rockin’ Atlanta’s little music watering hole, Dixie Tavern. House band, Zac Brown Band was playing to a full crowd. You might have heard of ‘em. Anyway, this band sparked an impromptu poll of who gets more ass in the band – the lead singer and namesake of the band or Jimmy De Martini, the violinist? I mean how often do you see a violinist in a band playing a dingy bar? And man, can he work those strings. At that point, I didn’t realize that said artists were both married and were good faithful boys to their ladies – at least, that’s what I’m told.
Aaaaaanyway, it brought up a good question. What’s the hierarchy for rock stars? What direct correlation do their roles in the band play to how many chicks they can score? We all know the stories of the 80’s hair metal bands Poison and Motley Crue’s antics with legions of trashy women. But Mick Mars? YUCK! Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley. Ric Ocasek of the Cars and Paulina Porizkova. Marilyn Manson and pick-any-chick – human or otherwise. And there’s no way in HELL that Beyonce would have looked twice at ugly-ass Jay-Z if he didn’t have his fame and his fortune with some talent thrown in too.
With the exception of this online poll I found, there weren’t any official stats on this but I’ll give it a whirl. Let me know what you think in the comments section below:
- Lead singer
- Violin/fiddle/banjo player
- Lead guitarist
The poor bassist. The soul of the band but hardly recognized. Unless it’s a chick like in Bob Schneider’s band which sends the dudes into a frenzy. (Sidebar: if you see an average-looking chick on the street and then put her up onstage with some talent, my guy friends say she gets way more attractive – so this goes both ways). And what about the keyboardist that drives the melodies and gives the music timeless charm? Left in the dust?