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Wednesday, September 24th, 2014

Who Gets The Most Ass in a Band?

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It’s no secret that rock stars get laid.  Some of the fugliest dudes can get some serious hot chicks…and I promise you, it’s not because of their milk-and-cookies wholesome personality (see Hot Chicks with Douchebags - they might not be rock stars but it’s pretty damn funny).  It usually has something to do with a microphone, tight pants, and a guitar.

A few years back on a random Tuesday night, my friend Tim Rhodes and I were rockin’ Atlanta’s little music watering hole, Dixie Tavern. House band, Zac Brown Band was playing to a full crowd.  You might have heard of ‘em.  Anyway, this band sparked an impromptu poll of who gets more ass in the band – the lead singer and namesake of the band or Jimmy De Martini, the violinist?  I mean how often do you see a violinist in a band playing a dingy bar?  And man, can he work those strings.  At that point, I didn’t realize that said artists were both married and were good faithful boys to their ladies – at least, that’s what I’m told.

Aaaaaanyway, it brought up a good question.  What’s the hierarchy for rock stars?  What direct correlation do their roles in the band play to how many chicks they can score?  We all know the stories of the 80′s hair metal bands Poison and Motley Crue’s antics with legions of trashy women.  But Mick Mars?  YUCK!  Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley.  Ric Ocasek of the Cars and Paulina Porizkova. Marilyn Manson and pick-any-chick – human or otherwise.  And there’s no way in HELL that Beyonce would have looked twice at ugly-ass Jay-Z if he didn’t have his fame and his fortune with some talent thrown in too.

With the exception of this online poll I found, there weren’t any official stats on this but I’ll give it a whirl.  Let me know what you think in the comments section below:

  1. Lead singer
  2. Violin/fiddle/banjo player
  3. Lead guitarist
  4. Drummer
  5. Bassist
  6. Keyboardist
  7. Other

The poor bassist.  The soul of the band but hardly recognized.  Unless it’s a chick like in Bob Schneider’s band which sends the dudes into a frenzy.  (Sidebar: if you see an average-looking chick on the street and then put her up onstage with some talent, my guy friends say she gets way more attractive – so this goes both ways).  And what about the keyboardist that drives the melodies and gives the music timeless charm? Left in the dust?

On another note, if YOU are an ugly rock star, you might want to check out how to cash in on your dazzling looks here.  Feel better, Bret Michaels.  Ride ‘em while ya can.

For more frequent musings and the best finds in music, feel free to connect with RadioPotato through Twitter, Facebook Fan page, and check back here often.  Thanks for reading!

About the author

Allison Hare wrote 138 articles on this blog.

A modern-day dame with a bionic ear for discovering emerging artists and a penchant for live shows. Admitted radio junkie

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Comments

13 Responses to “Who Gets The Most Ass in a Band?”
  1. Easy: the Drummer. Our drummer has a harem with him wherever he goes. It’s pretty ridiculous.

  2. We’re all females, but our drummer definitely gets more face than us. But two of are in relationships. I’m the lead singer, and most of the time, completely by myself after shows. Are they intimidated??? hmmm….

  3. @bbryon says:

    I feel bad for the bassists too, having been one; though I haven’t played in about 6 years. When I was working sound for a few local bands in the early 2000′s I had many more propositions than when I was actually playing bass :(
    I’ve heard a few of the really talented bassists haven’t had trouble though & don’t forget Sting.
    Great post Allison!

  4. Ironshef says:

    So, gut feeling is lead singer or lead guitarist, naturally. What about those situations where the lines are blurred, though?

    Like @bbryon mentions, Sting…and others like Les Claypool or even the frontman (and bassist) for one of your favorites — Rush. Hell, doesn’t Geddy Lee even do crazy shit like play keyboards with his feet? And…he isn’t exactly an adonis…but I’m guessing that don’t matter much given his insane talent.

    Fun topic, Allison!

  5. hmmm we’re pretty sure the bass hasn’t hindered Jared Followill’s love life at all haha :D

  6. Kristy says:

    I’ve always had a thing for drummers… oh and guitar players… well and piano players/keyboardist… crap!

  7. Czar Pullenski says:

    Bassist…

    Case(s) in point: Lemmy (ugly as hell…plays bass…gets the ladies), Gene Simmons (ugly as hell…plays bass…gets the ladies), Paul McCartney (plays bass…steals ladies…), Adam Clayton (Naomi Campbell…etc..), Me…(ugly as hell…plays bass…gets the ladies).

    Girls dig bass players – they know theirs is fatter, longer, and lower and can make an entire room move together…

    http://www.zazzle.com/property_of_a_bass_player_tshirt-235629539807722287

  8. Chris says:

    How about the roadie? You have to do a job for him before you can even get to the band!

  9. Stacy says:

    Drummers :)

    Also, anyone that plays more than one instrument…multi-talented goes beyond the stage. ;)

  10. kevin says:

    who would radio potato go for?

  11. Allison Rizk says:

    I always go for the Roadies. :-)

  12. lovita says:

    You have a nice article… have a great day.

  13. Justin says:

    Depends on the band. Every drummer I’ve had has always the most aggressive in the band as far as chasing women. Lead singers don’t have to work for it, guitarist have their niche as do bass players. Every once in a while there will be a keyboard groupie!! I’ve been buddies with Zac for many years.. have you seen his wife?? ;-)

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